Saturday, March 30, 2013

Knowing this movie sucks is half the battle




You know you’re in trouble when you become bored watching an action movie, which is exactly what happened for me at "G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” Being a huge fan of the toys growing up, I was disappointed with 2009’s “Rise of Cobra,” but when “Retaliation" was announced without the comic relief of Marlon Wayans in the cast and the addition of the sequel saver Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (I watch every sequel he pops up in because he makes them better than the previous installments like “Fast Five” and “Journey 2”) I was mildly intrigued. Then a cool trailer appeared with ninjas fighting on the side of a cliff and I was sold. Too bad that was the best part of the movie.
            “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” only kept me partially entertained, ultimately leaving me bored during high tense action sequences. The story is bland and if it weren’t for a Walton Goggins (Boyd Crowder on "Justified") cameo and The Rock kicking all kinds of ass, this would be a one star movie. I laughed at the return of cobra commander; I chuckled at Bruce Willis’s cameo as the original Joe with his variance of “I’m too old for this shit” one-liners and I scoffed at the RZA popping up as the kung-fu master. My fallen Joes would be rolling over in their shallow backyard graves if they had to witness this monstrosity. The Rock has made "Retaliation" the better of the two films, but that's not saying much. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.  

Best part of the movie was getting this free poster

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Big balls for a mediocre TV show




Watch our show because we're all glaring at you!!


"Revolution,"NBC’s post-apocalyptic tale about a world without power, returned from its four-month hiatus with an episode chock full of firepower and advancing plot lines. Real quick though, why the hell did NBC give this show that long of a break, when it was well liked?  I’m still not sure, but people were waiting because the network won the Monday night ratings. 
  Back to the show, the group had escaped Monroe’s evil clutches and his newly powered helicopter — there are amulets of power that can fire up anything, including the arsenal of weapons Monroe has been collecting — and everything seemed fine. Charlie and her gang of misfits joined up with the American militia — the country is divided into 4 or 5 nations, with Texas on its own and an america militia fighting the Monroe Republic — and waited for a helicopter attack to fight off.

Spoilers ahead.

And then the show did something I never saw coming… they killed off the damn kid they spent the entire first half of the season looking for!!! Holy hell that is a ballsy move!! After fighting off helicopters side by side with his sister, Danny is gunned down as a chopper goes spinning out of control. Dead, no coming back. The show just spent 10 hours trying to reunite the family and then immediately destroyed it. Awesome. I had been on the fence about the show because it usually had 1 to 2 cool ideas and a whole lot of bad ideas per episode, but I’m in for the rest of the season now...  even if I chuckle to myself at how bad it is.


I'm sure a lot of females will look this way after the apocalypse...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

"Spring Breakers" movie review


Walking into “Spring Breakers” I knew two things — it was a Harmony Korine film, and former Disney teen queens Vanessa Hudgens (who hasn’t been so innocent recently) and Selena Gomez flaunt around in bikinis for 90 minutes. But walking out the only thing I was thinking about was James Franco’s performance. Alien is a white boy living in a black man’s world, but damn if he doesn’t suck you in with his tantalizing words and 24k gold smile — someone give Franco an award for this role. 


            The story follows four college girls — Brit (Ashley Benson), Candy (Hudgens), Faith (Gomez) and Cotty (Rachel Korine, wife of the director) — who need to escape their mundane college party lifestyle for the fun and sun of spring break. But with no funds, all hope is ruined. They decide to don ski masks and rob a restaurant with water guns. With cash spilling out of their cutoff shorts, the girl’s head to Florida and discover it to be the paradise they always dreamed of. The sun is shinning and the girls are topless (lots and lots of topless girls). They do all the normal spring break things — smoke weed, drink beer, ride around with reckless abandon on scooters — but after snorting cocaine off the body of naked female at a wild and overly crowded party, the girls are arrested. With their funds depleted, the girls are forced to stay in jail. That is, until their cornrowed knight in shining armor shows up and bails them out.

    The girls are immediately sucked into Alien’s lifestyle — fast cars, lots of drugs and piles of cash — and soon find themselves a long way from the tourist beaches. Faith is the first one to buckle and cries to her friends that she wants to go home. She is a church going girl whose senses were awakened upon arrival, but after an arrest and a creepy Alien encounter (all Franco does is touch her face and talk real close, but damn is it creepy), she packs up and heads home on a bus. The three other girls continue on with their gangsta lifestyle, until it becomes too real when a rival drug dealer (played by rapper Gucci Mane) shoots Cotty in a driveby. Once again, she too heads home on a bus, but this time with a flesh wound. Brit and Candy stay, becoming a power trio with Alien, creating the films climax. 
     There were plenty of interesting performances, but Franco really sold this movie for me. He is such a chameleon and I set there in wonderment watching him snarl about “his shit.” He is totally worth the price of admission, especially when he twinkles away on a white piano overlooking the water and busts out a Britney Spears ballad, with the girls singing along. The scene intertwines the group singing the soft ballad with cuts of the same group forcefully robbing people. Never did I make the perfect connection of armed robbery and Britney Spears until now.

           
“Spring Breakers” is a chaotic fever dream that invokes your senses—you see the tits glowing in the neon, hear the bass pounding and can smell the blunt burning—and keeps you enthralled in the grimy slice of life. 








Sunday, March 10, 2013

Day 3: 1900 miles later

After 3 days and driving more than 1900 miles I finally made it to Washington!! Before heading to Bellingham, we stopped by Kirkland to see Chase Swanson, an old friend from centerville, and his family. A gracious host, he made lunch and good times were had. We soon headed to Bellingham and landed at our home of Jaime McKay, a friend who is letting us stay with her for the next few days. ready to eat we hit up a place i remembered fondly from previous visits - Casa Que Pasa  https://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/casaquepasa - great potato burrito and an extensive tequila list. We followed that up with a show at The Shakedown, a few beers at Cap Hanson's (could be my new home bar, although it'll never match GT!!) and some mediocre late night slices. Glad to be here and I can't wait to see what the future holds. I also got a return email from a local music publication about some freelance work, so hopefully I can get that going in the next few weeks!!

George, Washington
 
It's official, I live in Washington!!
 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Moving to Washington Day 2

Wow, that was a long ass day!!! We drove for almost 13 hours but we ended up in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Driving through the mountains in both Montana and Idaho was not that fun, but the weather cooperated and I got through with no snow/rain. There's a lot of places to stop in wyoming/montana, but I was more focused on driving than snapping pics... although I still shot a few. I skipped Devil's Tower and Yellowstone as I was focused on making it Idaho and both of those intersting stops was well out of the way. Tomorrow I hopefully make it Bellingham, Washington and begin the job search. Followed by stops in Seattle, Portland and Eugene. I'll probably throw a few things throughout the week - cool pics, funny observations, etc - so stay tuned... One more thing, the bars here in Coeur d'Alene only serve beer and wine, no liquor?!? I'm not sure if that is a state thing or not, but either way it kind of sucks.


We're not in Iowa anymore...



It was way far away, but at the top of the continental divide in Butte, Montana is the Our Lady of the Rockies. According to Wikipedia it's 90 feet tall and is the second tallest statue in the U.S. behind the Statue of Liberty. I had no idea what it was, I just thought it was cool. I wish I had a better camera with a high powered lens.



Someday I wish I could live in the hills...

 
The best thing I saw all day... Almost to my new home!!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Moving to Washington Day 1

Well, I got started a day late but I'm already in Spearfish South Dakota for the night. It was a long day of driving, but tomorrow will be even longer as I battle the moutains of Montana. I got awesome gas milege through most of SD, but once the hills started, the weighed-down Scion was struggling, so I can only imagine how many times I'll have to fill up before I reach Bellingham. They are saying snow in Montana tomorrow, but hopefully it won't be too much!! One more thing, driving down I-90, you'll notice the sides of the road are covered in road signs hyping the next great attraction... hype is all it is. The majority of them sucked!!

Here's a few pics

Bar, Grill & Casino!!! I lost...
 
 
 
Me with the General Lee (1 of 200+ made for the show) @ a roadside museum in Murdo
 
 
 
Wall Drug Dinosaur
 
 

 
 
the opening to Mount Rushmore
 
 
 
America!!