Knowing this movie sucks is half the battle

You know you’re in trouble when you become bored watching an action movie, which is exactly what happened for me at "G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” Being a huge fan of the toys growing up, I was disappointed with 2009’s “Rise of Cobra,” but when “Retaliation" was announced without the comic relief of Marlon Wayans in the cast and the addition of the sequel saver Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (I watch every sequel he pops up in because he makes them better than the previous installments like “Fast Five” and “Journey 2”) I was mildly intrigued. Then a cool trailer appeared with ninjas fighting on the side of a cliff and I was sold. Too bad that was the best part of the movie.

            “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” only kept me partially entertained, ultimately leaving me bored during high tense action sequences. The story is bland and if it weren’t for a Walton Goggins (Boyd Crowder on "Justified") cameo and The Rock kicking all kinds of ass, this would be a one star movie. I laughed at the return of cobra commander; I chuckled at Bruce Willis’s cameo as the original Joe with his variance of “I’m too old for this shit” one-liners and I scoffed at the RZA popping up as the kung-fu master. My fallen Joes would be rolling over in their shallow backyard graves if they had to witness this monstrosity. The Rock has made "Retaliation" the better of the two films, but that's not saying much. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.  

Best part of the movie was getting this free poster